Big Smurf: South London to Hildenborough via Ashdown Forest

Dedicated to the Memory of David Vilaseca:

This ride is dedicated to the memory of David Vilaseca, professor of Hispanic Studies at Royal Holloway, University of London and a friend of Inaki Lajas, who was killed in Tower Bridge Road while riding his bike. Another life cut tragically short on the roads of London. All our thoughts are with his family and friends at this time.

http://www.london-se1.co.uk/news/view/4352

The Ride: Through South London to start of 'Hell of Ashdown' - cycling part of the route, we had to cut it short due to having too many mechanical problems which slowed us down, therefore we changed route and headed to Hildenborough to get the train back to London.

Riders: Big Smurf, Al (Woody), Raph, Granty, Inaki, Julian and Denzil.

Denzil - He has not been out with us for a long time and is now sporting a new bike - a Wilier. (bringer of key comedy moments (see mechanical). Also doing L'Etape du Tour this was a good training run.

Julian - Yes, the first sighting of this rare beast, usually found spinning, but we managed to tempt him out at a ridiculously early hour, to put him through some pain. He came armed with paracetamol and a good dose of determination.

Bikes:
Wilier (Denzil)

Focus (Raph)

Felt (first outing for the Felt and first real road ride for the demon mountain biker (Al - Woody)

Cannondale (Big Smurf)

Pinarello FP2 (Granty)

Boardman (Inaki)

Condor (Julian)

Description:

Inaki & Julian cycled over to Camberwell to meet me. We left the house at 8.50am and headed up to meet Grant at the Horniman Museum and then headed off through the suburbs of South London. It was cold and some of the minor roads were Icy, and the London roads are getting worse. It felt more like we were riding our road bikes off-road, there were so many potholes. As much as the local councils blame this on the snow and ice I think it is as much down to poor maintenance as anything and the snow has just been used as an excuse.

We headed up to Biggin Hill via Bromley to start the route on Jail Lane (pictured below). Jail Lane leads down to Berry Lane and Church Hill. We rode Church Hill last weekend and it definatley felt easier this time. I managed to get a shot of Julian and Granty as they emerged from the clutches of this little beast. Certainly gets the heart racing (the hill, not Julian and Granty - no offence boys)

From Cudham it was down Cudham Lane and then down towards Hogtrough Lane, it was nice to come down this lane as last week we cycled the other way, but it is a nice decent, but you do need to be careful as it is steep and crosses Pilgrims Way - so make sure you can stop. It was then straight down to Brasted to meet the others. They had taken the easier option by getting the train from London Bridge to Orpington and then cycled down to Brasted. The tiny lanes were a bit icy and Raph came off on after slipping on an icy patch and in turn brought his girlfriend down too - not Als luck, as I knocked her off last weekend on the mtb :((((((((((. It is the only way we can slow you down Al. (knocked-off i.e I lost balance in the mud and as i fell i knocked Al off too), just so there is no misunderstanding.

Brasted is good place to stop. First time we have stopped at this cafe Ninetysix Degrees and they did serve a great coffee and smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel. Alas, there was no cake this time. It was cold outside and warm inside, the fire making it difficult to want to move. Al was not really enjoying her first road ride out which was quite worrying as she was only about 8 miles into a very long ride. Grant was looking too comfy with his latte and Julian had thought we had finished. Ohhhhhh how wrong he was. It is a small cafe and we had taken it over, our bikes all piled up outside. We were about to leave as another cycling crew came in and after much eyeing up of kit and gear we left the warmth to head off on our journey.

From Brasted we headed up Toys Hill. A nice steady climb and again, a road we are normally bombing down, but this time riding up 2 miles of smooth tarmac instead of down. All was going well, moral was high (apart from Al) and we were on route. Nice descent down the other side of Toys Hill and we headed to Four Elms. Now you would think it would be easy to read instructions - mmmmm left, right, should be a doddle. Well maybe i should get some lessons, as i took us the wrong way, not once, but twice and to say we went round in circles might be fair. Ok, so we did some extra miles and with a bit of help from Grant, Raph and an iphone we managed to get back on track. (I had been reading the Al & Raphs bluffers guide to navigation - £1.99 from W.H Smith).

We eventually headed off to take in the delights of Dormansland and Hollow Hill, then down to Holtye Hill as we headed towards the beast that is Kidd's Hill (The Wall), which was about 7 mile ahead of us. Our journey was not without problems and apart from the navigational issue we also had a number of punctures and gear problems. Grant and Inaki had a puncture at same time and then Denzil had two further down the road on Shephards Grove Lane. Al was having problems with her new bike and getting used to the gears. At least something was able to slow her down. After we turned into Shephards Grove Lane a little dog ran out across the road and started barking at us - as we stood there a car drove up and a lady jumped out, thanked us for finding her dog and then put the pootch into the car and drove off. Mmmmmmmm did anyone else think this was weird?

Some great scenery as we road through the country lanes especially the lane pictured below. I love the eeriness of the trees and the water.

Denzil can be seen playing his new harp - unusual way to mend a puncture - get on with it we are getting cold. At this point Al was probably on a '0 out of ten' for enjoying the ride. Somehow i think this is captured well in the photo. Why am i here, why am i here? Trust me the sun did help with the thaw.

I had been building Kidd's Hill up as a bit of a beast and only Grant and I knew what was ahead, so everyone was anticipating something tough. As you might have guessed I wasn't going to hop off and take a picture part way up, so i only took these pictures at the top. What was interesting about this hill was that it marked the changing point on Als opinion of the ride - a dramatic turnaround from 0 to an 8 (10 being very good), by the time we had ascended 'The Wall'. I think this is because she is a very good climber and from starting at the back at the bottom of the hill, she soon passed most of the likely lads and this gave her a much needed boost.

At the top of Kidd's Hill we stopped for a well earned rest. Everyone did well and actually felt it had not been as hard as they were expecting. Now there is a challenge - I think they mean they want to cycle up steeper hills, I am sure that is what they meant and I know just where to take them :)))))).

A You Tube video of the climb: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pO_f2pbFTMk

It was then off to Col de Groombridge and yet another hill on the route. Anyone expecting a flat or undulating ride was sadly mistaken, but it was all a good part of our training. Col de Groombridge had an alpine feel to it and was a really enjoyable climb. We decided as a group to cut our ride short and head straight to Penshurst for some refreshment. This was 43 miles into the route (not including additional 3-4 miles of mistakes). Ooops

Route: http://www.HELL.gb.com/RightMenu/New100.asp

This will give you the complete 'Hell of Ashdown' route - we cycled 42.9 miles of this route before we headed off to Hildenborough.

Food: We had two stops:

Ninetysixdegrees (Brasted)

http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/entertainment/Time-Tea-ninetysix-degrees-High-Street-Brasted-Westerham/article-1831541-detail/article.html

Lattes, Smoked Salmon Bagels and pastries.

It was a nice place to stop and I think if the owners are able to create an area outside where people can put their bikes they will make loads of money from the affluent bikers. I think they probably hated the fact that we piled our bikes up against the outside table, bit it was very cold and no one would have sat outside. Something to think about as we had £20,000 worth of bikes piled outside with no locks and it would have been so easy to have gone elsewhere and they would have lost our business.

Quaintways (Penshurst)

http://www.penshurst-online.co.uk/f&d_quaintways.htm

We have stopped here many times before and it is especially nice in the summer as it has a garden area. They have gone a bit overboard though now with the 'no bikes' signs outside and although they have created an area for people to leave their bikes, they would be better if they tried to come across more bike friendly. We were very close to going elsewhere as it did seem, however well intentioned, very anti-cyclist.

As it happens we stayed and the owner let us put our bikes in the garden this time, as it was winter and no one was sitting outside.

Baked potato, beans and cheese and other combinations were the order of the day. The boys could'nt resist the calls of the apple crumble and custard which was remarkably good. An assortment of teas washed it all down and helped to bring some much needed smiles to our faces before we headed oof to Hildenbrough and our train journey back to London.

Well, the journey back should have been straight forward but as we went the wrong way yet again (not my fault this time guvnor) we ended up going up get another big hill and one we were not really ready for, being stuffed with crumble didn't help. Looking back at the motley crew wending their way up the hill, I could not help but laugh thinking of the things they might be saying as they hit the hill -i don't think they were happy, lets say that. We had to rush back in order to catch the train, and true to form we arrived on the platform just as the train arrived. A welcome relief for everyone and a chance to sit down and relax back to London Bridge.

Mechanicals: Punctures, punctures and more punctures.

Well that said, the second puncture of denzils wasn't actually a new puncture, but in his haste to mend the first one he accidentally put the old tube back in and assumed someone had folded his 'old' tube back up and secured it with a rubber band (this was his new tube). So after i had laughed at raph, who had to cycled back up the hill once he relalied Denzil had had his first puncture, i ended up doing exactly the same as we received a call from Denzils letting us know he had a second puncture only about 10 yards away from where he had 'mended' the first. Oh well, i am loving the hills at the moment so it was all good practice.